Reading Week was incredibly sad.
.possibly the saddest week I've ever passed in my life thus far.
I never take my friendships lightly. From past experience, I have learned that all friendships are gifts from God--especially true friendships. Through friends, we express the goodness of God: love, joy, patience, compassion, faithfulness, &c. We feel negative emotions when we are hurt by the ones we love so dearly. We taste jealousy, anger, sadness--emotions God also admits to and allows us to experience through our relationships with others.
Through my friendships, I have experienced self-sacrificing love for people outside of my family. I have seen how deeply I can care for others, and how much others value my presence and being. So when God chooses to take these beautiful friendships and change them beyond recognition, it hurts. It makes me sad. And yes, it teaches me that I need to let go.
I have wept tears this week. Tears for myself. Tears for my friend. I usually cry when I read sad novels, yet reading the tragic Tess of the d'Urbervilles failed to bring a tear to my burdened heart.
And as I was standing in my driveway with my family waiting for my passenger, we found out the sad news that my neighbour had passed away. We had known them since the first time we moved to that house when I was 3 years old. With time, my family's acquaintance had died down, but we knew that he had married a Falun Gong activist and both were deeply involved in the Falun Gong movement. As my parents found out more from his brother, we learned that he had recently travelled to Israel. When questioned why, his brother told us that it was to explore faith and religion. My mom exclaimed that he could have just come over to ask us since we had tried bringing him to church many years ago. I stamped my foot with indignance and frustratedly said, "We should have gone over!"
What does it mean to love your neighbour as yourself?
It means that at the very least, we MUST share the grace and salvation that God has bestowed upon us.
and yet... why are our mouths kept silent?
Heart even heavier, I found out on my drive up from a passenger that a cute puppy belonging to a friend's housemate I had played with once had been killed in a car accident. I often don't fall in love with animals, but this little puppy stole my heart. I'm allergic to most dogs, yet I had so much fun playing with the little "terror," as his owners affectionately called him.
Life can be so sad sometimes.
2 comments:
*hug* that must have been quite the drive back up here.
it's absolutely true when u say -- "It means that at the very least, we MUST share the grace and salvation that God has bestowed upon us." How often we turn cowardly aside and think, "another time, another day, when I have more time, more energy". any time but now. I think we must be all guilty of that at some point.
learning to learn go is certainly one of His tests of our faith.
take heart, my friend, for each day brings renewed blessings. Whatever is taken away, other things come in place -- though no one promises that it will be easy.
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