life is stranger than fiction

Just when I thought life couldn't get any sadder, it did.

My mom called me in my residence room last night to let me know that her father, my grandfather, had passed away from a heart attack in his sleep.

It took a little time for the tears to come, but they came.

I'm very thankful that I visited my grandparents over Reading Week. When I had opened his door, he had answered gruffly, but as soon as he saw it was his only granddaughter, he became so happy. He would only speak in English, even though I replied in Chinese. When I commented on his "very good English," he smiled shyly and laughed at himself saying he wasn't very good. I laughed along, assuring him that it was very clear and understandable. It made me happy to see him so happy.

One thing my brother and I have always been concerned about is his salvation. And to this day, it remains questionable. He was baptized, yet when I asked him about it, he would tell me that he believed in this little Buddha statue he kept. And as a young girl being mean to my little brother, he would say, "Look at you Christians, you're so mean to each other." Yet as I grew older, I realized that he was watching my life and I am so thankful that God has been slowly changing me so that I would be a strong testimony of God's grace. My grandmother had told me a few times over Reading Week that my grandpa was very proud of me and kept saying that I was an exceptional person. I hope that he knew it was Christ in me through which I had changed.

After returning from Taiwan in January, he expressed a desire to return to church. Even though they hadn't gone before his death, I hold onto the hope that he had returned to God spiritually before returning physically.

I am sad, but also at peace with his passing.

The psalm below is shared in honour of him.

Psalm 90
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
3 You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."
4 For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night.
5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-
6 though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered.
7 We are consumed by your anger and terrified by your indignation.
8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan.
10 The length of our days is seventy years— or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 Who knows the power of your anger? For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children.
17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.