Here's to you, Mum

Tonight I had the good fortune to enjoy a women's evening with a handful of regular students and a handful of mature students led by three facilitators at the Ban Righ Centre for Women. This even had been publicized for first year students, and when I had inquired about it earlier, I was told that the spots were reserved for first year students only. However, I bumped into a don at lunch who told me that there were still spaces available. Due to some more confusion, I was told that I was placed on a wait-list and would be called at 5:30pm if a spot opened up. Fortunately, I received a call at 5:15pm and soon I was well on my way.

It was an evening of great delight. Through my years at Queen's, I haven't had many opportunities to meet with mature women students and I loved hearing their stories of what brought them back to school. One had been a high school drop-out who is now a single mom and plans to be a doctor. Another had served in the military and a stay-at-home mom before returning to study art and environmental science. Still another was a painter with grown children and had never been in a long-lasting relationship. Their tenacity showed me that nothing had stopped them from pursuing an education later on in life.

Our three facilitators were very exciting people. The first lady was a poetess. She was 76 years old and she wrote the most beautiful, poignant, and clever poetry I have ever heard read by the actual poet. I will write poetry when I am older.

The second lady was an entrepreneur who had opened the first Body Shop in Kingston back in 1982. She now manages three Body Shops in the Kingston area. She taught us that make-up can only make us feel different, but it doesn't change who we are. She also taught us to give hand massages to one another and connect with another person through touch. It was wonderful to receive a massage from a pair of beautifully-aged painter's hands and to give one in return.

The third lady was a clinical psychologist who discussed relationships in all their different forms and had us share about our relationships. Most of the conversation was dominated by the mothers in the group. One shared her fears about her 17-year-old son growing up and leaving home. She sounded like a fantastic mother: reasonable, wise, and loving. I think she may have felt afraid that her son wouldn't return. I provided my perspective from the other side of the coin. As a daughter who has been away for almost 4 years, I told them that this time of being away had only taught me to love my mom more. Although I returned a bit rebellious after first year, each successive year away from home has changed me into a better daughter. This summer marked a significant change in my relationship. After my time at Taize, I returned with a passion to love my family better. I told the ladies that going away had given me the space and time to realize that I could only love my mother back with a fraction of the love she had given me, but I still wanted to be the best daughter she could have as she was the best mother she could be for me. This brought tears to a few mothers' eyes and I realized how blessed I had been to have a happy and healthy upbringing. My mother knows she isn't perfect in everything she does, but she's done a great job at being a mother and I love her all the more for it.

I realize I haven't blogged much about my Taize experience (and I highly recommend it to anyone who's visiting France or in the vicinity), but when I spent two days in silence desiring to love God more, He placed in my heart a strong desire to love my family more. I remember pouring out tears and repenting for the times I hadn't been a lovable daughter or sister, and God placed more love in my heart for my family.

I used to be confused about Luke 14:26, which says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple." I used to wonder why God would want us to hate the people we love in our life. I now realize that our love for God is so much greater that if we can abandon our family for Him, He will pour out so much more love into our hearts to become an even more loving daughter and sister and friend.