Alas, the time for bittersweet good-byes has come.
I want to cry, but the tears only wet my eyes without sliding down my cheeks. There's a quiet sadness, a hidden sadness, that's stored so deep down inside that it will take time for purging. Maybe writing it out will help.
It's been strange saying good-byes because I will still be here next year, yet my closest '09 friends are graduating and moving on to the next chapter of their lives.
There have been a few "last suppers" lately. A memorable one was with Jenny and Flora. We planned to eat at Lotus Heart Blossoms, only to find out they were taking an extended Easter break. Next, we tried Pan Chancho, only to read that the cafe closed at 4pm. Then, we walked to Mexicali Rosa's to find that it was temporarily closed for some unknown reason. Finally, we backtracked to the Kingston Brew Pub and had a very long dinner, talking about things that friends talk about. This has been a meaningful friendship thus far, although it has only spanned a brief two years since we first all came together. Sometimes you meet people and you just click. It doesn't take much effort to adjust to one another and befriend one another. Sometimes you realize your initial reactions to the person was totally off--they're probably friendlier than they look.
Tonight I ate at Leonard Cafeteria with two of my 2nd year housemates--the only housemates I've ever had during my B.A. years. They were my Queen's family. There's Queen's friends, and then there's Queen's family--the people who root for you and hear you out and see how messy and disorganized you really are, without judging you for the worse. One has finished school for good, while another is going away for more. And I... I am still here.
There's some sort of feeling--kinda like being left behind. Yet I'm really glad to be here for another year. My ministry here is not over yet. God is moving on our campus in huge ways and bringing people from different backgrounds and groups together. I still have a lot of hope and have seen God bring revival. It happens one person at a time, when God breathes into His beloved child and draws them up to life again. People are being transformed daily, and God is here.
Next year is going to be exciting. My best friend is coming! I'm living in a house again! I won't have any exams to write! God is good.
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5 comments:
It's true - I know what you mean - its an interesting transition/end-of-year...to be honest, I'm avoiding thinking about it, but the time is fast approaching! At least you're one goodbye I don't have to say yet, cause I'll see you next year!
Tim
Agreed! We're gonna make it a good year with who we've got left!
It is always hard to say good-bye and it is okay to be sad. When one parts with one's friends or when one says good-bye to friends leaving Queen's but however remains at Queen's, sometimes it might feel that they will start a new chapter in their lives without you or that they have moved on while you are still living in the "past" in a way.
However, always remember that wherever your friends are, they will remember you and that you have certainly shared lots of memories together and that is why they enjoyed their time at Queen's.
Friends are like stars. You don't always see them but you know they are always there.
Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them...
Dear Joyce,
I heart you. That dinner was definitely memorable - in more ways than one (ehm, the things we talked about).
People may be going to another place, but we're all moving on, regardless of location. And God will be working in you, that's for sure.
:)
hehe ditto Flora. This comment is way overdue, and I've already told you anyways....but these kind of dinners are the most memorable even if bittersweet. Every time I past by the Brew Pub, I remember you and Flo.
I know the left behind feeling (ahhaa me still yet!) I too hold much hope and so encouraged by the way God continues to move in Kingston and on campus. He continues to transform in a mighty way!
Jen
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