Es schneit!
Winter ist gekommen.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Activist? Who, me?
I graduated from a conservative Christian high school and entering university, I would never have imagined that one day 3 years down the road, I would be sitting at a conference on Leadership in Activism. I only signed up because I felt it relevant to my job as an Intergroup Facilitator, but once I sat down, I was immediately captivated by all the speakers and the issues they were raising. We had phenomenal speakers from Sgt. Debbie Bodkin who spent months in Darfur chronicling stories directly from the genocide victims to Major Brent Beardsley who was part of a group who foresaw the Rwandan genocide. We also had speakers on Canada's health care system, multiculturalism, and poverty. I wish I had invited friends to come with me, especially people from fellowship. The work that needs to be done is so great that I can only attempt at these issues by prayer. It is wonderful to serve a great and mighty God who can make things better, but we must rise up in prayer and action together.
Among other ideas, the main point I've come to realize is that if anything is worth doing, it is worth working hard for. It's easy to live a life of passivity by ignoring what's happening in the world around us; but as our pastor spoke this morning on Philippians 2:1-11, we must be living with "eyes wide open." It is our responsibility to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. Living in Canada is a privilege, and with privilege comes responsibility (Ever After, anyone?).
Now the question is: what is my next step? How can I prepare myself to serve the world best with the gifts God has given me?
Among other ideas, the main point I've come to realize is that if anything is worth doing, it is worth working hard for. It's easy to live a life of passivity by ignoring what's happening in the world around us; but as our pastor spoke this morning on Philippians 2:1-11, we must be living with "eyes wide open." It is our responsibility to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. Living in Canada is a privilege, and with privilege comes responsibility (Ever After, anyone?).
Now the question is: what is my next step? How can I prepare myself to serve the world best with the gifts God has given me?
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Old People
Our society doesn't give enough thought to old people. Just the other day, I read that the standards of nursing homes were below standards, with private nursing homes worse than public, government-funded nursing homes. (This is not to say all nursing homes are bad, just the majority.)
In the past, I may have stereotyped the elderly because I didn't know any better. I must've thought they either talked too much or talked too little, but perhaps they talked too much because nobody else listened or talked too little because nobody asked.
Hearing the elderly poet last week completely changed my mind about fading old minds. Hers was sharp with wit and clever with words. Then this morning at St. James Anglican Church, there was an older lady at our breakfast table. The rest of us were students (undergrad, OT, and even a recent Ph.D. graduate) and we were chatting about future plans because the message had been about uncertainty and God's guidance. We finally asked the older lady what she was currently doing, what she had done, and what she was looking forward to. She told us that she was nearing 70 and she began to slowly bring out some of the things she had done in life. She had taught home economics for years and then became a director for an international company. She had also been a spiritual director, but after moving to Kingston, she couldn't direct because she didn't have a spiritual director in Kingston. 'Tis a pity: she has a lot to give.
It's so encouraging to meet people at different parts of their life. Growing up in a megachurch has kept people relegated to their own fellowships that are defined by age or life stages. I've been blessed to get to know some of the wonderful elderly, and I hope I can continue to learn from their wisdom.
In the past, I may have stereotyped the elderly because I didn't know any better. I must've thought they either talked too much or talked too little, but perhaps they talked too much because nobody else listened or talked too little because nobody asked.
Hearing the elderly poet last week completely changed my mind about fading old minds. Hers was sharp with wit and clever with words. Then this morning at St. James Anglican Church, there was an older lady at our breakfast table. The rest of us were students (undergrad, OT, and even a recent Ph.D. graduate) and we were chatting about future plans because the message had been about uncertainty and God's guidance. We finally asked the older lady what she was currently doing, what she had done, and what she was looking forward to. She told us that she was nearing 70 and she began to slowly bring out some of the things she had done in life. She had taught home economics for years and then became a director for an international company. She had also been a spiritual director, but after moving to Kingston, she couldn't direct because she didn't have a spiritual director in Kingston. 'Tis a pity: she has a lot to give.
It's so encouraging to meet people at different parts of their life. Growing up in a megachurch has kept people relegated to their own fellowships that are defined by age or life stages. I've been blessed to get to know some of the wonderful elderly, and I hope I can continue to learn from their wisdom.
"Gray hair is a crown of splendor;
it is attained by a righteous life."
- Proverbs 16:31
Thursday, October 16, 2008
God knows
With the weather changes come my seasonal melancholic mood swings (aka Seasonal Affective Disorder). Feeling quite low since coming back from Thanksgiving, I took my camera and headed downtown to pick up an item. Again the colours on the trees and buildings were fanastically overwhelming. There were colours I had never seen before and colours are the kinds of things you must see to understand and to know of its existence. Maybe someday I'll be able to imagine colours I have never seen before--sometimes I think God has a whole laboratory of colour in Heaven: test tubes and treasure chests full of colours our limited eyes cannot perceive!
It was a delightful trek. I finally walked into Cooke's Fine Foods on Brock St. where I finally located McVitie's Chocolate-covered Digestives (the same kind my best friend mailed to me from England while on her exchange trip). Sadly, I didn't have the appetite to buy them, but now I know where I can get them!
After making my purchase and browsing through Indigo, I began my journey back to residence. I bumped into the painter lady whose hands I had massaged the other evening. I found out she teaches art! It was encouraging to see her again. She's an absolutely beautiful woman who has aged well. Continuing my walk, I walked past an old lady resting on her cane with her eyes closed. I asked if she needed help, and she gave me one of the most brilliant and genuine smiles I've ever seen. "No, I'm only resting," she said. As I walked back onto campus, I took the scenic route by Summerhill and bumped into a Wally resident with whom I had walked through the Wolfe Island Corn Maze. She immediately embraced me with a hug, a kiss, and a smile. She even remembered my name!
God knows when we need a little pick-me-up. God knows when we're downhearted and need strangers to deliver smiles. It is a happy thought to know that God knows--and that is all that matters.
It was a delightful trek. I finally walked into Cooke's Fine Foods on Brock St. where I finally located McVitie's Chocolate-covered Digestives (the same kind my best friend mailed to me from England while on her exchange trip). Sadly, I didn't have the appetite to buy them, but now I know where I can get them!
After making my purchase and browsing through Indigo, I began my journey back to residence. I bumped into the painter lady whose hands I had massaged the other evening. I found out she teaches art! It was encouraging to see her again. She's an absolutely beautiful woman who has aged well. Continuing my walk, I walked past an old lady resting on her cane with her eyes closed. I asked if she needed help, and she gave me one of the most brilliant and genuine smiles I've ever seen. "No, I'm only resting," she said. As I walked back onto campus, I took the scenic route by Summerhill and bumped into a Wally resident with whom I had walked through the Wolfe Island Corn Maze. She immediately embraced me with a hug, a kiss, and a smile. She even remembered my name!
God knows when we need a little pick-me-up. God knows when we're downhearted and need strangers to deliver smiles. It is a happy thought to know that God knows--and that is all that matters.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Here's to you, Mum
Tonight I had the good fortune to enjoy a women's evening with a handful of regular students and a handful of mature students led by three facilitators at the Ban Righ Centre for Women. This even had been publicized for first year students, and when I had inquired about it earlier, I was told that the spots were reserved for first year students only. However, I bumped into a don at lunch who told me that there were still spaces available. Due to some more confusion, I was told that I was placed on a wait-list and would be called at 5:30pm if a spot opened up. Fortunately, I received a call at 5:15pm and soon I was well on my way.
It was an evening of great delight. Through my years at Queen's, I haven't had many opportunities to meet with mature women students and I loved hearing their stories of what brought them back to school. One had been a high school drop-out who is now a single mom and plans to be a doctor. Another had served in the military and a stay-at-home mom before returning to study art and environmental science. Still another was a painter with grown children and had never been in a long-lasting relationship. Their tenacity showed me that nothing had stopped them from pursuing an education later on in life.
Our three facilitators were very exciting people. The first lady was a poetess. She was 76 years old and she wrote the most beautiful, poignant, and clever poetry I have ever heard read by the actual poet. I will write poetry when I am older.
The second lady was an entrepreneur who had opened the first Body Shop in Kingston back in 1982. She now manages three Body Shops in the Kingston area. She taught us that make-up can only make us feel different, but it doesn't change who we are. She also taught us to give hand massages to one another and connect with another person through touch. It was wonderful to receive a massage from a pair of beautifully-aged painter's hands and to give one in return.
The third lady was a clinical psychologist who discussed relationships in all their different forms and had us share about our relationships. Most of the conversation was dominated by the mothers in the group. One shared her fears about her 17-year-old son growing up and leaving home. She sounded like a fantastic mother: reasonable, wise, and loving. I think she may have felt afraid that her son wouldn't return. I provided my perspective from the other side of the coin. As a daughter who has been away for almost 4 years, I told them that this time of being away had only taught me to love my mom more. Although I returned a bit rebellious after first year, each successive year away from home has changed me into a better daughter. This summer marked a significant change in my relationship. After my time at Taize, I returned with a passion to love my family better. I told the ladies that going away had given me the space and time to realize that I could only love my mother back with a fraction of the love she had given me, but I still wanted to be the best daughter she could have as she was the best mother she could be for me. This brought tears to a few mothers' eyes and I realized how blessed I had been to have a happy and healthy upbringing. My mother knows she isn't perfect in everything she does, but she's done a great job at being a mother and I love her all the more for it.
I realize I haven't blogged much about my Taize experience (and I highly recommend it to anyone who's visiting France or in the vicinity), but when I spent two days in silence desiring to love God more, He placed in my heart a strong desire to love my family more. I remember pouring out tears and repenting for the times I hadn't been a lovable daughter or sister, and God placed more love in my heart for my family.
I used to be confused about Luke 14:26, which says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple." I used to wonder why God would want us to hate the people we love in our life. I now realize that our love for God is so much greater that if we can abandon our family for Him, He will pour out so much more love into our hearts to become an even more loving daughter and sister and friend.
It was an evening of great delight. Through my years at Queen's, I haven't had many opportunities to meet with mature women students and I loved hearing their stories of what brought them back to school. One had been a high school drop-out who is now a single mom and plans to be a doctor. Another had served in the military and a stay-at-home mom before returning to study art and environmental science. Still another was a painter with grown children and had never been in a long-lasting relationship. Their tenacity showed me that nothing had stopped them from pursuing an education later on in life.
Our three facilitators were very exciting people. The first lady was a poetess. She was 76 years old and she wrote the most beautiful, poignant, and clever poetry I have ever heard read by the actual poet. I will write poetry when I am older.
The second lady was an entrepreneur who had opened the first Body Shop in Kingston back in 1982. She now manages three Body Shops in the Kingston area. She taught us that make-up can only make us feel different, but it doesn't change who we are. She also taught us to give hand massages to one another and connect with another person through touch. It was wonderful to receive a massage from a pair of beautifully-aged painter's hands and to give one in return.
The third lady was a clinical psychologist who discussed relationships in all their different forms and had us share about our relationships. Most of the conversation was dominated by the mothers in the group. One shared her fears about her 17-year-old son growing up and leaving home. She sounded like a fantastic mother: reasonable, wise, and loving. I think she may have felt afraid that her son wouldn't return. I provided my perspective from the other side of the coin. As a daughter who has been away for almost 4 years, I told them that this time of being away had only taught me to love my mom more. Although I returned a bit rebellious after first year, each successive year away from home has changed me into a better daughter. This summer marked a significant change in my relationship. After my time at Taize, I returned with a passion to love my family better. I told the ladies that going away had given me the space and time to realize that I could only love my mother back with a fraction of the love she had given me, but I still wanted to be the best daughter she could have as she was the best mother she could be for me. This brought tears to a few mothers' eyes and I realized how blessed I had been to have a happy and healthy upbringing. My mother knows she isn't perfect in everything she does, but she's done a great job at being a mother and I love her all the more for it.
I realize I haven't blogged much about my Taize experience (and I highly recommend it to anyone who's visiting France or in the vicinity), but when I spent two days in silence desiring to love God more, He placed in my heart a strong desire to love my family more. I remember pouring out tears and repenting for the times I hadn't been a lovable daughter or sister, and God placed more love in my heart for my family.
I used to be confused about Luke 14:26, which says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple." I used to wonder why God would want us to hate the people we love in our life. I now realize that our love for God is so much greater that if we can abandon our family for Him, He will pour out so much more love into our hearts to become an even more loving daughter and sister and friend.
good, pleasing, and perfect
Talking about the weather is often labelled as superficial, shallow, small talk, but the weather affects me so much that I must talk about it. The weather today has been waffling between beautiful, blue sky and sunshine to heavy, grey clouds that threaten rain. This autumn, I've noticed that the leaves are particularly beautiful and the colours are absolutely entertaining! I pointed it out to a friend, who pointed back out to me that Kingston has received much less rain in the autumn of this year. The bright, sunny days have allowed us to enjoy the changing colours so much more. It is a glorious autumn indeed. What a blessing to enjoy it before I graduate.
Thanksgiving Weekend was wonderful. Surprisingly, I didn't have the chance to sit down and reflect upon God's bountiful blessings, but I had a lot of time to talk about God's will with my family and friends. Romans 12:2 came up more than once in different circumstances with different people, so I had more opportunity to chew on it. The verse says
2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and
approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
I believe I have missed out on God's perfect will in the past through my impulsivity and meager mind. As much as I like to live with "no regrets," there is still one decision that I look back upon and wish I had chosen differently. Things would have been different, and I do believe that God will work in us regardless of our decisions, yet I'm still left with the bad aftertaste of choosing foolishly.
With graduation looming and applications to be sent in, I really don't want to miss out on God's good, pleasing, and perfect will. I don't want to miss the boat. Despite doing a psychology reading today on "uncertainty reduction theory," there are just some things that will remain uncertain until we arrive. From my perspective, the best way to negotiate this uncertainty is to accept that knowing the ending would totally ruin the adventure of life. Oh, and that God has the best plan for our lives if we choose to follow Him.
Now it remains for me to renew my mind so that I may "test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing, and perfect will."
Monday, October 6, 2008
Perfect Day
Today has been a wonderful day. I haven't had many like it since school kicked in and assignments piled up. A big source of stress this year has been my thesis--I feel like I'm thinking about it every other moment. I've been so frustrated at times that I've broken down and cried because I didn't know what to do.
But today was a good day. The sun was warm and bright. The colour of the leaves are at their prime. Looking at them makes me happy and I feel calm.
Thanksgiving Weekend is finally coming up and I get to go home again! I've felt more homesick this year than any other year, and I think it's because I know my time at Queen's is drawing to a close. I know I have a fifth year waiting, but I'm treating this year like my last year. I never know, it might be.
Yesterday morning, my devotional featured a woman named Simone Weil. She wrote an essay titled "Reflections on the Right Use of School Studies with a View to the Love of God." Her main concept is this: "All academic pursuits train the mind to focus its full attention on the problem or the task at hand. This focus of attention is the very substance of prayer in which God is the subject. In this way, learning has a value in and of itself, as a lower means. But it also trains one to give the necessary attention to the higher end: loving God in prayer."
As I reflected on this in relation to my thesis, it dawned on me that I was not doing my thesis for my thesis supervisor. I was writing it for God. God is my ultimate thesis supervisor, and I should find joy in serving Him through my work on my thesis. This little breakthrough has changed my attitude towards the seemingly insurmountable task of a thesis. And it's just beginning...
A familiar reminder: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24
But today was a good day. The sun was warm and bright. The colour of the leaves are at their prime. Looking at them makes me happy and I feel calm.
Thanksgiving Weekend is finally coming up and I get to go home again! I've felt more homesick this year than any other year, and I think it's because I know my time at Queen's is drawing to a close. I know I have a fifth year waiting, but I'm treating this year like my last year. I never know, it might be.
Yesterday morning, my devotional featured a woman named Simone Weil. She wrote an essay titled "Reflections on the Right Use of School Studies with a View to the Love of God." Her main concept is this: "All academic pursuits train the mind to focus its full attention on the problem or the task at hand. This focus of attention is the very substance of prayer in which God is the subject. In this way, learning has a value in and of itself, as a lower means. But it also trains one to give the necessary attention to the higher end: loving God in prayer."
As I reflected on this in relation to my thesis, it dawned on me that I was not doing my thesis for my thesis supervisor. I was writing it for God. God is my ultimate thesis supervisor, and I should find joy in serving Him through my work on my thesis. This little breakthrough has changed my attitude towards the seemingly insurmountable task of a thesis. And it's just beginning...
A familiar reminder: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Colossians 3:23-24
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)