When I chose to do my placement at a Business and Technical Institute (BTI), little did I know that I would be stepping into one of the saddest schools in the TDSB. I was really surprised on my first day to find out that this school was slotted for closure at the end of the year, so staff morale was really low and student enrollment had been "declining" for the past few years. I almost cried after my first day because things seemed so desperate. It doesn't make sense to me that on one hand, we have a request for more trained technicians and applied tradesworkers, but on the other hand, TDSB is closing all of the high schools that provide opportunities for students to pursue these careers.
On the first day, I was feeling pretty nervous about meeting my host teacher. She had a long, Jewish last name, so I was imagining her out to be a tall, imposing woman with big hair (Karen Hitchcock-esque for my fellow alma mater mates). Fortunately, the educational assistant gave me the low-down on her before she came and told me that she was an Asian Jew (Chinese woman converts to marry Jewish man) and that she was crazy. After 4 days with her, I can see why people (including herself) call her crazy, but she's definitely a brilliant woman who cares deeply for her students. Watching her is like watching a sitcom--she's always making people laugh! I've learned a lot from her in the past few days, but I get the feeling that she's a treasure trove of which I've only scratched the surface.
Since the school is in decline, the class sizes are small. Small as in 2-13 students. It's been quite a change from the 30+ students and I realize the huge effect class sizes have on teaching quality. It can't be too small, but having less students definitely allows for more follow-up. Marking is so much lighter too!
What I loved most about the placement were the students. My host teacher was fantastic at commanding respect from them: compassionate toughness, she called it. These students have been sent to this school because they couldn't survive in the "collegiates." They struggle with learning disabilities, poor attendance due to late nights working/general laziness, hungry stomachs--stuff I'd never seen in my high school or the other schools I've been to. I felt that I was filled with love for each student I saw--another new phenomena I didn't experience in other schools. They weren't jostling for marks in order to get into university; they were showing up in class because they had to get their high school diplomas in order to get basic level jobs (like flipping burgers at McDonald's or garbage collecting).
The most inspiring end to my week was the final period when 3 former students separately came back to visit the school. One of them sat in with the class, who was spending the period working in the library, and shared about how he "did the crime, did the time" and realized he had to do something about it. He is now planning to open up his own fine dining restaurant. It was such an inspiration to see how the teachers at this school really make an impact on these students lives. It really isn't about teaching a subject, but using the subject to teach students about life and responsibility.
I'm looking forward to my return in April. If I can teach these students, I think I'm set. If I can't... I still have my B.Ed. year to learn.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
sick and grateful
I haven't left my house since I first stepped in after my dad picked me up from the bus station at Scarborough Town Centre. That's over 60 hours spent in one enclosed location--it's gotta be my record since infancy.
On Friday, I fell horribly ill with a virus that wracked my body so painfully that I felt like crawling out of my skin and my stomach kept churning over and over and over. Graciously, some kind friends gave me some Gravol and Pepto-Bismol to tide me over the bus ride until I returned home. I slept through most of the bus ride, and even ended it with a conversation with a stranger-girl that I had sat beside on the bus last semester, chatting about her interests in evolutionary biology.
Being sick at home has been awesome. Mind you, I didn't like it when my head spun around, and nothing seemed appetizing, but since my mom and brother are also sick, most of us have spent all these time at home being sick together. It's been my dad's turn to shine as caregiver, preparing soup after soup and pot of congee after pot of congee. I'm so blessed he's a great cook! I've also had a lot of time to watch many movies with my brother. I usually have a lot of difficulty sitting still to watch movies on my own, but it's always nice to share it with someone else.
The most wonderful part of this weekend was just the simple conversations I had with family. I tend to lose out on sleep more often when I come home because I stay up late to talk to my parents and I wake up earlier to keep talking to them. They are my best listening ear, wisest guidance, and responsible protectors. In one of my conversations with my dad, who borderlines on being boastful but is quite accurate about himself, I said that he, who once said his gift was in understanding people, did not quite understand me or else he would let me do what I felt called to do. He told me he now understood after some enlightenment from my mom, and that if I truly wanted to pursue a missionary career-- I would be free to do so! What a blessed surprise!
It's strange that the timing should happen now--when my future is more blank in my mind than ever. I am not concerned though. I know my next step, and I will take it in faith.
From James 5:
14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Happy Family Day!
On Friday, I fell horribly ill with a virus that wracked my body so painfully that I felt like crawling out of my skin and my stomach kept churning over and over and over. Graciously, some kind friends gave me some Gravol and Pepto-Bismol to tide me over the bus ride until I returned home. I slept through most of the bus ride, and even ended it with a conversation with a stranger-girl that I had sat beside on the bus last semester, chatting about her interests in evolutionary biology.
Being sick at home has been awesome. Mind you, I didn't like it when my head spun around, and nothing seemed appetizing, but since my mom and brother are also sick, most of us have spent all these time at home being sick together. It's been my dad's turn to shine as caregiver, preparing soup after soup and pot of congee after pot of congee. I'm so blessed he's a great cook! I've also had a lot of time to watch many movies with my brother. I usually have a lot of difficulty sitting still to watch movies on my own, but it's always nice to share it with someone else.
The most wonderful part of this weekend was just the simple conversations I had with family. I tend to lose out on sleep more often when I come home because I stay up late to talk to my parents and I wake up earlier to keep talking to them. They are my best listening ear, wisest guidance, and responsible protectors. In one of my conversations with my dad, who borderlines on being boastful but is quite accurate about himself, I said that he, who once said his gift was in understanding people, did not quite understand me or else he would let me do what I felt called to do. He told me he now understood after some enlightenment from my mom, and that if I truly wanted to pursue a missionary career-- I would be free to do so! What a blessed surprise!
It's strange that the timing should happen now--when my future is more blank in my mind than ever. I am not concerned though. I know my next step, and I will take it in faith.
From James 5:
14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Happy Family Day!
Monday, February 9, 2009
In the midst of preparing for my test, midterm, and essay, all of which are due this week, I took some time to hang out with Brother Lawrence (via his book The Practice of the Presence of God). I've been going through it slowly in order to maximize digestive value, but here are some of his final thoughts, written a week before he died.
Sometimes university has frustrated me in that I spend so much time getting to "know" other subjects, without having the same opportunity to "know" God. There have been some courses that have magnified God's glory and majesty in His creation and order, but I'll have to look a bit harder to find God through my Psych of Crime notes for tomorrow's midterm.
Let all our employment be to know God; the more one knows Him, the
more one desires to know Him. And as knowledge is commonly the measure of love,
the deeper and more extensive our knowledge shall be, the greater will be our
love; and if our love of God were great, we should love Him equally in pains
and pleasures.
Let us not content ourselves with loving God for the mere sensible favors,
how elevated soever, which He has done or may do us. Such favors, though never
so great, cannot bring us so near to Him as faith does in one simple act. Let us
seek Him often by faith. He is within us; seek Him not elsewhere.
Sometimes university has frustrated me in that I spend so much time getting to "know" other subjects, without having the same opportunity to "know" God. There have been some courses that have magnified God's glory and majesty in His creation and order, but I'll have to look a bit harder to find God through my Psych of Crime notes for tomorrow's midterm.
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