while i'm still on the topic of titles...

My byline remains unchanged.

"A story of hope and faith"

Yesterday after church, my best friend asked me what the difference was between Christians and nonbelievers. As it is her first time regularly encountering classmates and professors who do not profess Christ as Lord and Saviour, she was curious because she found them so kind and nice.

Certainly, I agreed. Having also grown up in a Christian bubble, I was also amused to find myself surprised by how "nice" anybody could be. So when she asked, "What then is the difference between Christians and non-Christians?" I could only reply, "I'm not sure. Perhaps it's the hope and faith that we have in God."

And as teachers who don't know the answer to their students' questions, I answered in like fashion: "Why don't you observe them and find out. Then let me know what you find."

As I read through Romans this morning, chapter 8 verse 24 and 25 spoke into my heart, "For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is not seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

Likewise, Hebrews chapter 11 verse 1 says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Our hope and faith in Jesus Christ goes against the idiom "I'll believe it when I see it." Often we ask for tangible results to prayer: concrete answers (like baby brothers) and visible proof. Yet so much of God's work is invisible. It happens slowly and it happens in our hearts.

Through the years, I have seen God work, and now is a time to wait with patience. Jesus is coming back. Our job is to wait with hope and faith until what we hope for is revealed before our eyes.

Epilogue for "the fig tree withered": a new name for a new stage

The Fig Tree Withers (from Matthew 21)

¹⁸Early in the morning, as he was on his way back to the city, he was hungry.¹⁹Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!" Immediately the tree withered.

²⁰When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. "How did the fig tree wither so quickly?" they asked.

²¹Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. ²²If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

I have decided to rename my blog to reflect more of what I'm going through, but first, I'd like to write an epilogue for "the fig tree withered."

When blogs first became popular, I shunned the idea of sharing all my private thoughts and ideas on such a public forum. But there were a few blogs of note that stuck out to me. These blogs were of older Christian brothers and sisters--people I highly respected in how they lived their life and shared about God and their experiences and insights. I found that reading their blogs was spiritually refreshing and edifying. So with that purpose in mind, I began "the fig tree withered," as a testimony to how God was working in my life.

As morbid-sounding as a withering fig tree sounds, it is a sharp contrast to what Jesus is teaching His disciples. In this instance, Jesus teaches us that faith is critical to prayer. "If you have faith and do not doubt. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." These are powerful words. Certainly, there is so much more behind the asking process, but God teaches us how to pray and what to pray for.

When I was a young child, I really wanted a younger sibling. I would beg and beg my mom, but she was adamant about not having another child. I begged to the point of annoying my mother so much that she told me to pray about it. So with the faith of a child, I began praying. Every night before I went to bed, I would ask God to "please give me a brother or sister. Amen."

Through a year's perseverance and the tender belief of my young heart, God changed the hearts of my parents and provided a caregiver (i.e., my grandmother). I still remember the night my mom whispered to me that she was going to have another baby. I remember changing my prayers to the tune of "please protect my baby brother or baby sister and my mom. Amen."

I do believe that fig trees wither. I believe that mountains can be thrown into the sea. I believe that God has mercy on His children. I believe that prayers are still answered when we ask with genuine and pure hearts.

Praise God for withering fig trees!

Friendship Story

I'm really happy to be back at Queen's for another year. Not only do I enjoy catching up with old friends, but my best friend has finally joined me to study in Kingston! Although we're in different programs, we still see each other often and do many things together.

This friend and I first began our studies together at the ripe young age of 4. Together, we went through the same school until the end of high school. We had planned to attend Queen's together for our undergraduate degrees--possibly even in the same program--but by a twist of fate (and God's work), she ended up studying at her parent's alma mater while I treaded off to Queen's on my own.

I still remember the fateful phone call during March Break of Grade 12. I was already so concerned about getting into the university program of my dreams, but when she told me that her parents finally convinced her to go to their school, I broke down and sobbed. I feared for our friendship; a precious friendship that I was afraid would drop like a glass ball and shatter. We had all heard stories of how the friends you make in university become your friends for life; and how your high school friends change beyond recognition so that when you meet each other again, you realize how incompatible you have become.

I think I started going through a period of withdrawal in the last few months of high school. It was out of fear that the final good-byes would hurt too much. Fear that saying good-bye to people we had come to love so tightly and dearly over the course of a few years would tear out a piece of our hearts.

And finally, it dawned on us! We didn't have to say good-bye to our friendship just yet. We could be friends forever if we truly wanted it. So we committed to e-mailing each other, and making sure that we would stay in touch no matter the cost. Once university began, there were three of us regularly corresponding, and the e-mails flew back and forth with a new e-mail sure to pop up in my inbox at least every two days, if not everyday.

Over the years, we have changed. We have grown up. We've gone through challenges, and we've gone through successes. We've travelled without each other, and we've suffered the same loss together. Even though I am now cynical of the term "friends forever," friendship is still a precious gift I carry carefully.

Now that we're finally at the same school (even if only for a single blessed year), it's been a pure pleasure to live a mere three blocks away from each other. It's nice to be able to call her up and see if she wants to do some of the crazy things I've always wanted to do but didn't want to do alone. It's nice to finally go places where I used to think "I wish she were here with me."

I have no regrets that we didn't spend our undergraduate years on the same campus. We've probably grown more because of it and dared to do more because of it; but God is so good to let us study together once again.

Sometimes I wonder how God views friendship. I'm sure He knows it's pretty important to the soul. God, thank you for friends: especially best friends and kindred spirits.